Online dating update (or lack thereof)

I recently was asked how the online dating thing was going and it made me realize that I haven’t really shared too much about that here in awhile. Well, I haven’t updated in awhile because not much is really happening.

Currently there is only one man in my life, Henry. Sad maybe? lol

HenryandMeIt is frustrating. I put myself out there, but there hasn’t been too much interest as of late. Thinking about it all sometimes is depressing. No one wants to be alone forever, well I’m sure there are exceptions. In the future I hope to find someone and have a family, but it doesn’t look like that day is coming anytime soon.

You know what? That is ok. I have a great life. I have an amazing family, great friends, and a career. I work hard and maybe being in school for so long delayed me in the dating department, who knows. All I know is that I know what I have to offer and what I hope to find in a man and that I’m not going to settle.

Sometimes it is hard because in the back of my mind I worry about being left behind in a sort of way by my group of friends. I hosted another bridal shower for a friend this past weekend and I will definitely be the last of our group to be married. Soon they will all be having kids and I will be in a completely different stage of life. That makes me sad, but I know we will always be close. One day I will catch up.

Until I find Mr. Right, wherever he may be, I am continuing to focus on myself. I am focusing on my health and enjoying life. I’m not going to worry about it all. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be.


I can feel the draw. . .

I had a great weekend with friends. I helped host a bridal shower for one of my closest friends and it was a great time. There is a group of 6 of us that have been best friends since middle school and when I think about how long it has been now it doesn’t seem real. We are getting old!

With spending great time with friends I overindulged on food, definitely. I went completely off. I didn’t track or write anything down. Poor choices.

It only kept escalating as the weekend progressed. I had the mentality of “oh well I’ve already ruined the day so whats one more…” but the problem is that it didn’t stop at the end of the day, it carried on to the next. It is frustrating.

I know what works for me and what I need to do. But, I have to not be lazy and actually put in the work. The pool I go to was being renovated so I wasn’t swimming and I was busy or it was raining so I didn’t do any more c25k and yeah so I was pretty lazy this Friday – Sunday.

The scale definitely reflected all this. By Monday morning I was up 4 pounds. Sure, I am aware that a lot may be water weight and will come off no problem, but it was a wake up call. I don’t want to slip back. I don’t want to be drawn back into my old habits.

Nothing about my journey is perfect, but I know my cycles and habits and how I sabotage myself. It stops now. I’m not letting it progress anymore and spent Monday back on track and I’m going to stop giving into the temptations and get back to work.

I have been really into the band Bastille lately (and excited that I will see them live for my birthday) and they have this song “The Draw” and it came on and I found myself really listening to the lyrics. My own spin on them and my interpretation I feel like I can relate.

I feel the draw of my old habits and old life. I’m recognizing that I need to take a step and stop letting things pull me back . I can do this. My next goal is to reach a loss of 60 pounds and I will hit it!

For your listening pleasure:

Non-Scale Victories Linkup

I’m about 53 pounds into my weight loss journey and that is a great accomplishment, but I have a long way to go! I have found that thinking about the big picture is intimidating and overwhelming.  It helps to celebrate all the little victories and accomplishments along the way to keep me motivated. It is easy to become discouraged when you think about how long it will take and want to throw in the towel. When discouraged sometimes it feels like if you will always be fat then why not eat the foods you enjoy. The truth is my life won’t be better if I give up, so the trick now is to stay motivated!

So, I’m celebrating my victories. My victory this week I already shared. I  posted about completing my first week of the C25k app, but that is huge victory for me at the moment. Running really intimidates me. I gave the app a try last year, but had so many problems with my PF and was told by my doctor at the time to let it heal so that I would not need to be put in a boot. I’m still intimidated of it and scared, probably unreasonably so, but I did it. I finished the first week and I am going to keep trying.

What is your NSV this week?


First Week of C25K

I’ve never been a good runner.  In school I would dread the presidential fitness testing because I felt so embarrassed with my abilities. I was always among the last to finish because I had to walk portions of the mile run. When I think about it I am still bothered by the memories and how bad I felt about it all. My gym class was pretty brutal. Oh well, I survived!

I hate running. That fact has not changed yet, haha. However, I finished the first week of C25k. Each day I improved slightly with my distance and I’m taking that as a victory. Overall week 1 really wasn’t all that bad. Sure, while I was actually in the workout I felt like I was dying. The first week is a 5 minute brisk walk and then you repeat the interval of jogging for 1 minute and walking for a 1.5 minutes, then finish it up with a 5 minute walk for a cool down.

I’ll tell you what, a minute really isn’t that long, but when I was running I would hit 50 seconds and be like how has it not been 5 minutes? Pathetic, maybe. Hey, each day did get a little better. I have to say that I am scared of when I will have to do 5 minutes without stopping, but I guess that is why the program is designed so that you build up to things.

The real problem I am having right now is pain. I’ve had a history of problems with my foot and it acts up, but I’m working through it. Right now my problem is my shins. I definitely have shin splints. I instagrammed about it and received a few suggestions: being refitted for running shoes and looking up stretches on google. Any other advice? I feel like if I didn’t have the shin issues I’d really be doing awesome on this venture, but after the first week I’m already having these issues so want to nip it in the bud so that I can continue on and hopefully crush a 5k in my future.

So, have you had shin splints? What is your advice for how best to alleviate pain?

The Internal Struggle

An internal mental war – That’s what I feel like a large part of this journey is like.

Sometimes I feel like I go through this whole battle in my mind before getting up and getting myself to the pool, gym, trail or when deciding what meal to eat. It feels like real work sometimes. Sometimes I win the battle and I force myself to be active or stick to my meal plan. Other times I lose and go off course. It happens.

I am capable of so much, I’ve learned this. I am able to do so many things that I didn’t think was possible a year ago. I interestingly found myself motivated by a cover song recently. Bastille covers the song “What Would You Do?,” on their one album and while the song is about nothing similar to my own personal life, I think it is a good cover and a catchy song. But, this one part does get in my head and motivates me. The song gets to a point where it goes:

What would you do?
Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses
What would you do?
Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses
What would you do?
Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses
What would you do?
Get up off my feet!

photoThis song has now found itself on my workout playlist. I found myself listening to it on repeat one night last week as I was packing my bag to the pool and you know what, if it works why not? Sometimes I have to psych myself up with music or read a good motivational quote. It is what pushes me.

I know what I need to do to be successful. It takes a lot of hard work and sometimes I don’t feel like putting in the effort. Now isn’t time for excuses. I’m just going to get up off my feet. Time to get back to work.