Well it’s been a minute because I took a break from the blog, but I am happy to say that I’m bringing the NSV linkup back. This week I’ll post here and if you would like to share your NSV you can share in the comments or comment with a link to your blog and I will get the linkup up and running starting next Thursday! If anyone is interested in co-hosting you can let me know either in the comments or send me an email.
I want to bring NSVs back to my blog because I really do believe that the little changes and accomplishments are what keep me going. I’ve had a rough several months. I was starting to feel ashamed to post here and that is pretty ridiculous because this is basically my journal, my journey, and I shouldn’t feel so bad coming here and admitting that I’m human and I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve had a rough several months emotionally. A lot of things came to a boiling point. I have been left with a lot of life decisions and big questions. Couple that stress with hormonal issues and it is no surprise that I gained weight back quickly. It is very easy for me to gain weight with my condition and taking prednisone. I let things spiral out of control.
I let things spiral out of control. That is hard to say. I hate that losing weight is so simple, eat less and move more, but yet in application I sabotage myself. I needed to step back, re-evaluate things, seek outside help, and focus on what I need. I decided to hit re-start at the beginning of this month and it has been rocky. There is a divide between what I need and what I’m doing. I think there is a lot of fear in it. Fear of continuing to fail and repeat this cycle, but that is so ridiculous because if I don’t do something that is when I fail. As long as I’m able to pick myself up, learn from my mis-steps, and continue on then that is ok.
I’ve been blogging almost 2 years and I now have lost, re-gained, lost, and re-gained. It feels terrible. I hope that anytime in the future I feel I am sliding back that I read this post and remind myself of how awful it feels.
I had a talk with the leader at my Weight Watcher’s meetings, the meetings I stepped away from, and I told her that I felt embarrassed to come back. I’d show everyone that I’ve essentially failed on my own again. This is what she shared with me:
“I did it four times. Katie, this road isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Not coming back and quitting would be way more embarrassing. You know you can do this. You’ve made so much progress since your first time. It gets easier each time you come back because you already know what works. You just have to get back to it.”
So for this NSV post I’m going to remind myself of some of the positive changes I have made in the past 2 years:
- - In December 2012 I gave up Diet Coke and haven’t had one since! Before then I was pretty addicted, like 6+ a day! No one thought I could do this, my family still can’t believe that I won’t drink any type of pop anymore.
- - In January 2013 I entered a gym for the first time in years and started to work with a personal trainer. I still attend a small group boot camp style class with this trainer 2x a week.
- - I started swimming again for fun.
- - I’ve acknowledged that I have a much more complicated relationship with food and have sought outside help.
- - I do all my own grocery shopping.
- - I’ve branched out and tried more fruits and vegetables and have incorporated them.
A short list of the things that jumped into my head. There is so much more that I can add to that list when I’m on track. I know what needs to be done and I need to be consistent and not lazy. I need to stop the negative inner dialogue I have and push through.
I’ve continued to work on improving myself this month and I know that November will be an awesome month for me. I’m sure of it! I’m already ending October on a positive note with a major NSV, in my opinion:
Leaving work Tuesday, my parents were offered 3 free tickets to the Pens game. My mom wanted to go and I have 2 sisters, obviously not all of us could go. I had my commitment at the gym, so I declined and let my 2 sisters go to the game. And oh my did I miss an amazing game! 8 goals! But, I had a great session at the gym and had a much needed heart to heart with my trainer friend. My session was a commitment, as important as a work meeting, and I can’t just skip them.
I know I’m not a great example for weightless with my history. If you read back you will see constant ups and downs and re-commitment posts playing like a broken record. I wish I could change that. I wish it wasn’t like that, but I can’t. My only option is to change my ending. Like my leader said, I know what works. I just need to get back to it. I can’t quit, so I need to suck it up. I’ve given myself a setback because I gained weight and I own that, but now I continue from square 1 and I will prove to myself, and everyone else if you are reading this, that I’m capable of achieving my goals.Sidenote**If you live in the Pittsburgh area and want to know about a good leader, send me a message and I’d be happy to introduce you to her. She lost 90+ pounds and she genuinely cares about each person that comes in and out of her meetings. WW may be on the pricier end, but the group atmosphere helps me. Having someone else in your corner and there to help you I find more valuable.