The Difference a Year Makes

April 20th last year I was the maid of honor for my cousin’s wedding. I honestly can’t believe that a year has passed, it is crazy how quickly it has flown by. The wedding was so beautiful and it was a great time. I found myself looking through photos from the wedding this weekend and comparing myself a year ago to now.

weddingSurprisingly, or not really, I don’t have a full body picture of me alone that I could find, but I can see some small differences from April 20th last year to a pic taken of me this past April 19th (below)

april19thMainly I see a difference in my face. Also, yes I am the palest person alive it seems.

There really is only about a 15 pound difference between the 2 pictures because I gained back a considerable amount that I originally lost after the wedding. However, I am a size smaller now than I was at that wedding.

Physically there may not be that much of a difference. Not a huge weight change, only 1 clothing size difference, but mentally I feel like I’ve grown a lot as a person. I’ve now been living a year in the new house. Definitely more independent and on my own. I have way more responsibility at work because I’m not a brand new attorney anymore. So there are those life changes, but also I feel like through the struggle of last year I became much more self-aware.

I’ve learned that you have to really want it to make it work. You can’t be doing it for a wedding or another function because you will just gain it back, most likely. I’ve learned that I have way more of an emotional eating/bingeing problem than I was allowing myself to admit a year ago. I am much more aware of triggers and patterns and working hard to conquer them.

Probably what I am most proud of is the differences I’ve made on the fitness front. I’ve done so many things in the gym that I didn’t think I was capable of. I constantly find myself pushing new boundaries and that is something that the old me wouldn’t have done. The fact that I’m back in the pool is huge. For me it is a major accomplishment that I’ve returned to the one exercise I love that I avoided for 5 years.

I may have only reached a total of 53 pounds lost since I’ve started this journey because I allowed myself to gain after that wedding, so I have a long way to go, but I’m proud that I’ve made it this far. Each day is an opportunity to learn and to make each day better than the last. I’m confident that I will be very pleased when I look back at this post next year and see the even greater difference I know I will see.

It isn’t all about pounds lost. It is so much more than that. The person I am today is happier and healthier. I’m ready to keep going in the right direction this year.

Happy Easter & Goals for the Week

“Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful.  It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.” – unknown

siblingsI’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have one amazing family. I really am blessed to be close to all my siblings. I love that we all live close to each other, I even live with my one sister (Audrey, far left). There is only a 5 year age difference between my brother, the oldest, and Audrey, the youngest. My  parents may have been a little insane because they graduated law school, started working, got married, and then had 4 kids all in the 80s. Yeah, they say that decade was a blur, haha.

It may have been a little chaotic when we were little and times were not always perfect. We fought as all siblings do and had our fair share of disagreements, but we are all very close now. I consider them my best friends. I guess we have some pretty great parents to thank. They must not have done too bad of a job if they were are able to raise 4, relatively successful, adults. Education has always been important to them and they raised a real estate appraiser, lawyer, biomedical engineer, and an occupational therapist, respectively. Not too shabby for careers, but more importantly we are all kind and loving individuals. At least I think so, haha.  Spending time at the holidays when we are all together in one room always makes me appreciate everyone so much more. I love my family and I’m so thankful that I get to be a part of it.

parentsI’m Catholic, therefore Easter is our major religious holiday. I’ve always enjoyed Easter and our many family traditions. When we were younger we would spend it with my paternal grandparents, but after my last grandmother passed in 2008 we’ve stayed in Pittsburgh and celebrated at our house. We still follow the Polish traditions. My dad bakes bread from scratch usually on good Friday. Now my nieces are the little helpers who help punch the bread and prepare it. We dye eggs and then prepare items of our Easter meal to be blessed in a basket. We all then go to Mass on Sunday morning and come home to brunch. First, we all share part of a blessed egg. My father as the patriarch of the family goes to each member, in order of age, and shares a blessing. Everyone then has a piece of the egg before eating any other food.

Then you can enjoy any treats you want that were left from the Easter Bunny.

easter basketsThe Easter Bunny was very generous to my nieces this year. They received a lot of goodies and toys. I guess they’ve been pretty good lately! I also was lucky that the Bunny brought my some Quest Bars this year.

easterbasketktIt is a good thing that I was given mainly healthy treats in my basket because I need to be on track this week. I was not good this weekend. I threw a baby shower for my friend on Saturday and snacked on too many treats there and then definitely overindulged on Easter day. It is ok, I knew this weekend was going to be a little crazy for me, so now I need to plan for the week ahead.

So my weekly goals:

I’m going to go to track my food daily, not eat out meals and make sure to pack my lunch for work nightly and exercise 6 days this week. The plan is:

Monday – Bootcamp in evening

Tuesday Swim in morning/c25k in evening

Wednesday – Swim in morning

Thursday – Swim in morning/c25k in evening

Friday – rest

Saturday – Swim in morning/c25k in afternoon

Sunday – bootcamp

Now off to start a great week!

Hope you had a great easter!

HenryEaster

Non-Scale Victories Linkup – 4/17/14

I don’t really have a personal Non-Scale victory worthy of sharing this week. I shared already that I really struggled at the end of last week and into the weekend. I’m back on track and slowly, but surely finding my motivation again.

It has been a tough week. There has actually been a lot going on emotionally for me. A lot of big decisions. Sometimes it is rough being an adult, but now we all have responsibilities. I can’t really go into it on the blog, but I wish things had been different and I could have come to a different decision, but again I’m an adult and making tough decisions is part of life now. Ultimately, I know I made the right decision.

When I am stressed, busy, and tired it tends to be when I make the worst decisions health wise. I’m really working on that and trying to make good choices. I know what I’m capable of and I made time for the gym. I had a great talk with my friend, the trainer, and she made some awesome points and gave me some great things to think about. I swear sometimes going to the gym is like therapy.

So this week’s post I don’t really have a victory to linkup with, but for this coming week my focus is going to be on forgiving myself. Work on not being so hard on myself. Forgive myself and move on as best I can.

Do you have a NSV this week?

 


Online dating update (or lack thereof)

I recently was asked how the online dating thing was going and it made me realize that I haven’t really shared too much about that here in awhile. Well, I haven’t updated in awhile because not much is really happening.

Currently there is only one man in my life, Henry. Sad maybe? lol

HenryandMeIt is frustrating. I put myself out there, but there hasn’t been too much interest as of late. Thinking about it all sometimes is depressing. No one wants to be alone forever, well I’m sure there are exceptions. In the future I hope to find someone and have a family, but it doesn’t look like that day is coming anytime soon.

You know what? That is ok. I have a great life. I have an amazing family, great friends, and a career. I work hard and maybe being in school for so long delayed me in the dating department, who knows. All I know is that I know what I have to offer and what I hope to find in a man and that I’m not going to settle.

Sometimes it is hard because in the back of my mind I worry about being left behind in a sort of way by my group of friends. I hosted another bridal shower for a friend this past weekend and I will definitely be the last of our group to be married. Soon they will all be having kids and I will be in a completely different stage of life. That makes me sad, but I know we will always be close. One day I will catch up.

Until I find Mr. Right, wherever he may be, I am continuing to focus on myself. I am focusing on my health and enjoying life. I’m not going to worry about it all. If it is meant to be then it is meant to be.

 

I can feel the draw. . .

I had a great weekend with friends. I helped host a bridal shower for one of my closest friends and it was a great time. There is a group of 6 of us that have been best friends since middle school and when I think about how long it has been now it doesn’t seem real. We are getting old!

With spending great time with friends I overindulged on food, definitely. I went completely off. I didn’t track or write anything down. Poor choices.

It only kept escalating as the weekend progressed. I had the mentality of “oh well I’ve already ruined the day so whats one more…” but the problem is that it didn’t stop at the end of the day, it carried on to the next. It is frustrating.

I know what works for me and what I need to do. But, I have to not be lazy and actually put in the work. The pool I go to was being renovated so I wasn’t swimming and I was busy or it was raining so I didn’t do any more c25k and yeah so I was pretty lazy this Friday – Sunday.

The scale definitely reflected all this. By Monday morning I was up 4 pounds. Sure, I am aware that a lot may be water weight and will come off no problem, but it was a wake up call. I don’t want to slip back. I don’t want to be drawn back into my old habits.

Nothing about my journey is perfect, but I know my cycles and habits and how I sabotage myself. It stops now. I’m not letting it progress anymore and spent Monday back on track and I’m going to stop giving into the temptations and get back to work.

I have been really into the band Bastille lately (and excited that I will see them live for my birthday) and they have this song “The Draw” and it came on and I found myself really listening to the lyrics. My own spin on them and my interpretation I feel like I can relate.

I feel the draw of my old habits and old life. I’m recognizing that I need to take a step and stop letting things pull me back . I can do this. My next goal is to reach a loss of 60 pounds and I will hit it!

For your listening pleasure: