Today I was reading through comments from my previous post and all I could think about was that I’ve found a community in a place I never would have thought of months ago.
We all need people. We like to feel shared bonds and to know that we aren’t alone in this world. It can be difficult if you are going it alone. Maybe that is why I’ve been personally down lately? Maybe because I feel like my friends are all reaching a different place in their life and I’m left alone?
I’m not even 100% sure why I started this blog. I just one day sat down and started writing. But, unconsciously I think I was look for a community. I’ve opted for the Weight Watchers meetings vs. online and the reason for that is accountability weighing in, sure, but also because you have a group. People with the same goal: to get healthy.
Of my closest friends I’m the only one who is overweight. I remember going to the mall in high school with everyone and I’d be the girl standing around and giving opinions. I’d crack jokes and have a good time, but we never went to stores that carried my size. The “in” clothes didn’t carry my size and they still don’t.
People who haven’t lived being overweight can’t “get it.” Being fat is an accepted prejudice. We are the subject of jokes all over media. Is it accepted because people believe we do this to ourselves? We are in charge of what we eat and therefore we are responsible? But it isn’t that easy. That doesn’t account for genetics, diseases, poor learned habits . . . there are so many reasons why people struggle with weight. I’m not saying that unhealthy habits should be celebrated. I’m just saying that it is hard, very hard, to be overweight in this world. The media tells you that fat = ugly. So many other people in your life will verify that for you until you believe it.
So now my friends are moving on to a different stage and I’m left. While everyone was dating and all that jazz I was in school. I was focusing on my career. We all make choices. I wasn’t able to successfully date while in law school. I just didn’t have the time to focus on anyone else.
Now, I’m trying. I want to have a family someday. But like some of the commenters on my last post noted, I agree that I don’t think you need someone else to make you happy. Nonetheless, I think it is natural for a lot of people to want companionship, family.
By allowing myself to stay in this “funk” I’m not helping anyone. Whatever happens, happens. The only thing I can control is myself. That is why I’m going to work on myself. I won’t give up after only putting myself out there for 6 months. But, first and foremost I will focus on doing what I need to do to be healthy in all areas of my life.
Even if other people are “moving on” to other phases, with a little effort everyone can remain close. But, there is always time to make new friends. To find additional communities where you can relate and feel at home.
I’m happy that I’ve found a community through starting this blog. Thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way through this year of weight loss struggles.
Now, on to celebrating others in this community who have shared non-scale victories this week!
My personal NSV for the week is going to be a little cliché, but it is not giving up on myself. This year I’ve barely lost weight. I’ve blogged all this stuff and struggled, but I’m a real person going through real struggles and at the end of the day the only person I have to answer to is myself and I’m not giving up. So no matter how many years this journey takes me, I’m just going to keep at it.
What is your Non-Scale Victory?